I was thinking about the saying, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I’m not so sure I could do it. Here’s how the real Kristi, in my own strength, would attempt to make lemonade.
First, get a lemon. Hmm… what lemon? The lemon I got is probably going away any day (denial). Anyway, my lemon’s not nearly as bad as what’s happening in Iraq (true, but minimizes my suffering). I don’t really want to think about, face, or deal with my lemon by squeezing it (fear). We’ll just use some imitation juice from the bright, yellow, squeezable plastic lemon.
Next, sugar. Ahhh… let’s give sweetness a try. Well, I’m not sure I’m feeling sweet; I’m feeling sorry for myself, because I can’t even unload the dishwasher in one go, due to symptoms. No problem, the kids can do it; hey, what doesn’t kill them will only make them stronger, right? Oh, and son, I can’t come to your soccer game, because the field isn’t really accessible. I’ll send a bobblehead of Mama for Daddy to wave around and cheer, okay? It’s the thought that counts, right? And sorry, friends, I can’t return your call or e-mail or get together, because I feel like I have the flu, am super nauseous and faint, have a splitting headache, and have to prop my head up with my hand. But, hey, we’re still BFFs, right? Um, okay. That sounds a little more like the pastel packet of slightly bitter, fakely sweet, powdery concoction that may or may not have carcinogens lurking throughout.
All right, we’ve got the imitation squeezable lemon juice and the fake sweetness. I’m going to have to stop there, because 1) I’m a quitter. 2) I can’t think of anything funny to say about fresh water. 3) There’s no way I have the strength to stir it up and serve it in a cute mason jar with an adorable, striped paper straw.
Lemons like illness, betrayal, infertility, death, abandonment (and so much more) are too hard to make lemonade from on our own. If you want lemonade, get the freshly-squeezed stuff at Chick-Fil-A.
Might I be even cheesier than I’ve been so far, though (is that possible?), and suggest, “If God gives you kale, let Him make you a brownie-nut smoothie”? That’s catchy enough for a bumper sticker, right? Just go with me. I was up at 1 a.m. last night thinking about this current fave smoothie (I drink a lot of green smoothies), and this may work.
Stay tuned for the recipe.
On a cute note, here are David, Luke, and Ella this morning, back to school. Today marks the first day in 11 years that one, two, or all of my children will not be with me for all or part of the full school day. To mark the occasion, I am still in my pajamas. I am sad, excited, nervous, surprised, thankful, curious, nauseous (oops; that’s unrelated). It’s definitely quiet around here!