Some of you who know me know that my marriage is a big blessing in my life. I am crazy about my husband, and he would do almost anything for me. In light of that, something happened recently that surprised and convicted me.
We (meaning Mark) had to rearrange some furniture in our playroom, which left huge piles of toys, junk, tools, etc, scattered across the room in the aftermath. We had friends coming to stay overnight and knew we needed the room straightened up for them.
Mark had a free half hour and said he would take care of it, and I offered to help. We quickly realized this was a hard task and that we had different two approaches. My approach is pretty much always to gather all the junk into big piles in out-of-the-way(ish) places in the room, so our friends could have the bulk of the space free. His approach is pretty much always to actually organize stuff, find new spots for it, get rid of things as needed, etc. Yeah, his approach is better… but then again, it takes longer, right?
As we started, he knew I didn’t have much stamina and asked me what my vision for the room was. I told him I basically wanted stuff piled out of the way. He nicely asked me if I would ask him what HIS vision was.
Well, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit, I didn’t WANT to ask him his vision. I just wanted him to do MINE.
I kind of knew what his would involve, and I was scared we wouldn’t have the time and that I wouldn’t be able to help make decisions about what to do with stuff (I’m terrible at that).
However, we’ve been at this for fifteen years, so I nervously asked him what his vision was, as he’d kindly requested.
You may be able to guess that his vision was indeed to deal with all this stuff, to put it away properly, and to make the room wonderful for our friends. He then invited me to go read a book or rest in another room while he rocked it…. and I took him up on his offer.
Not long after, he’d made a beautiful, tidied, more organized space for our out-of-town guests. Thank you, Mark!
His vision wasn’t to harm me, but to help me.
I was grateful, and I was also convicted that I didn’t really want to trust my serving, others-focused, hard-working, kind, putting-Kristi-first husband of 15 years. It helped me see that I also don’t really want to trust my good, sovereign, powerful God. I am nervous about things not going my way and am willing to do a worse job at something, with hasty shortcuts, rather than surrender and sit back and watch God work. Sometimes His actions seem messy, confusing, unclear, time-consuming, scary. But isn’t His restoration beautiful?
I don’t want to be unable to walk far or stand long. I don’t like not knowing His plan for my healing. I don’t desire to be dependent on others. BUT GOD, in His rich mercy, has plans of redemption beyond my wildest dreams.
Jesus will one day “present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27). Husbands are called to love their wives this same way– I’m thankful for a husband who desires to do that!
Will you surrender your fears and your desire for control and let God work His beauty in you? Will I? Let’s do this together.